"We Can Be Anything...Even Apart."

Last night was a full moon. I've been planning my entire week around it...and I didn't even see it. BUT, I did create my own mini "releasing" ritual that I want to share. It is not what I was intending to do - but it is what ended up happening.

So story time:

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And everything above was as far as I got with this. I clicked to edit this draft before I took note of how long ago it actually was that I sat down to do this the first time. My guess is at least 2 months ago lol.

Now it's the present, and I can't guarantee that I won't stop, quit, and forget about this for a few more months. BUT NOW is a new moon.....So instead of "releasing" I guess I am trying (yet again...aka once a month) to turn over a new leaf.

This time around maybe I'll hit publish whether I feel like this is done or not. Why?

1- because I am attempting to adhere to the Struthless 70% rule....and if you don't know about that current obsession, go back and read my last two pathetic posts that were also inspired in some way by him.

2 - because I keep getting fb notifications that garbage gal has 2 new views! Which means 2 of my friends actually might give a shit about what I have to say and that is really nice of them. Even if they just want an update on the shit show to make themselves feel better ya know cuz that's the whole point of this ".org"...it's for the people!

3 - speaking of the for the people thing, I went to this "idea conference" and met a bunch of people who were very comfortable calling themselves artist and living in their truth. Super cool for them, I can only one day dream of having the same balls. But what happened was I asked basically how to get said balls and I got a few people wanting to talk to me afterwards. So like, now I have to clean up my act a bit and pretend I do a little something on this site that I pay a lot of money to have and never use. Point is here that I had a convo with this lady who said "maybe your site isn't so much about you, but about your audience"...which like...duh. That was/is the point - to get to the point it's not just me venting and airing out my dirty laundry, but providing a space that can act as a laundromat for everyone. Again, on to the point - she also said that in order to encourage myself to actually share my thoughts and grow this a bit, that I could utilize fb's tool to share with certain groups of your friends instead of everyone. And that was the big takeaway because that would help. Currently I've invited everyone to like the page and I post on the page only on the rare occasions I produce something, but then I can't promote it on my personal fb because I don't want people to know....that this shit came from me lol. So in other words - i'm mad fraudulent. I want to act like I'm putting it all out there - and I am...I'm just also not letting anyone see it lol. So i'm gunna maybe do something about that soon.

4 - sorry 3 was way too long. 4 is because I've been trying to do this forever and I just started watching High Fidelity on Hulu...hello major girl crush on Zoe Kravitz. Anyways, there's a whole episode on creating a playlist and I wanted to kill myself because like that's been my life for the past several months, trying to ya know just create this playlist.

5 - I think there was an actual 5th reason, but I forgot it in the midst of typing out point 3, so in that case...did I mention it's a new moon?

K lets get down to business.

Eventually I might go back and provide some context to why certain songs are on the playlist because I think that would help...myself. Cuz that's all this is really for anyways right? But we are doing this 70% because it's Sunday night and again I haven't gotten my shit together enough to force myself to go to sleep before midnight. As Abi Gibson - the absolute QUEEN of all things self deprecating and depressing says, "You win some, you lose most!"....go watch her shit, she is pure fucking glory.

Oh wouldn't you like to know what any of this is about? THIS! is finally the fucking post i've been promising you/myself all this time. The playlist that pretty much tells the story of my brain going through this past fucking almost 2 years I guess. The never-ending breakup because I'm still trying to fully let go.

This is super anti climatic.

And Hello...since I now know you will most likely see this... Good songs, you'll probs like them.

The first few songs are just a quick throwback to how we were.

Then it just gets stupid from that point on and ends with a fuck load of Tennis cuz it's too late and I'm too lazy to integrate everything well. Maybe I'll fix this up later or keep it an ongoing project.

70%

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_4pdEzQr6eW5hi0Nz40aZDM36VvI3IXc

XO - Me